Christmas 2010

I’m 30 and just celebrated my 30th Christmas. In the end I had laughed a lot, ate too much, and was licked to death by a couple of cute doggies. But, it’s not what it used to be.

Many of my best childhood memories revolve around our unvarying holidays. For more than 20 years we celebrated at the same places with the same people and the same menu; ham at Easter, turkey on Thanksgiving, appetizers on Christmas Eve, and again, ham on Christmas. Of course the guests changed over the years. That is inevitable. New faces came and went. Old faces faded. And sure, there was a time or two that our far from random celebrations varied. But what remained; I was home and the food was fabulous.

If you know me, you know this. I am a uniform type of girl. I eat the same thing over and over again at restaurants and rarely try anything new. Everything in my house has a place. All labels face outward. I organize hangers by size and color. I like things to be the consistently the same. I fold towels the same way every single time. I loathe just the thought of variation. I follow the same routine every morning. I do things over and over again until they are perfect (e.g. the reason why I only posted 1 blog last month). Conformity is comforting. So for me, two decades of repetitious quality time with my family was fantastic. Things have changed.

Although meeting Matt was absolutely the best thing that ever happened to me, the one consequence that I dreaded was choosing with whom to spend the holidays. Like many couples, we decided to “rotate” which family we would bless with our presence at those festivities; my family Easter and Christmas one year and only Thanksgiving the next, then vice versa. Only to make things more difficult, my adorable niece Aubrey was born 4 days before Christmas last year. For this reason alone, I want to spend every Christmas in Southern Illinois.

This year I spent Christmas 8 hours from where my heart really was. The routine I have been accustomed to no longer exists. Spending every other Christmas in Missouri and the un-Followell-like meals that it brings is my new reality. And as of today, I am okay with that. We’ll see what 2012 brings.

P.S. Don’t let the title of this blog fool you. I think this ended up being more about my extremely overly obsessive compulsiveness than it did Christmas.

I'm From

I’m 30 and lived in 6 towns in 2 states. I grew up in my parent’s first home and their last. I’ve inhabited a dorm, an apartment, and a townhouse. I’ve lived in the quiet country and in the middle of a questionable part of town. I survived living with my Grandma, my sister and my in-laws. Today I live on Michigan Avenue. All of those places I called home, but this is where I am really from…

I am from the orange rocking chair where my mom used to sing me to sleep and the Smurf sheets where she would lay me to bed.

I am from Grandma’s biscuits and gravy and Grandpa’s tall tales, Sunday school with Grandma Shirley and exploring (terrorizing) Mulkeytown with Uncle Tony.

I am from Frieda, Molly, Julie, Sam, Coco, Scooter, Bobby, Coby and Harley and Avery too.

I am from sleepovers with grade school friends and (years later) hangovers with them too.

I am from Scottish, Hungarian, and American Indian ancestry.

I am from pulling hair, biting, and scratching with Niki and then finally growing to be the best of friends.

I am from long school bus rides and even longer nights on the phone with best friends.

I am from Friday night football games and Saturday morning yard work.

I am from hundreds family photos kept nearby and hilarious home videos.

I am from family dinner at the table (almost) every night and green pancakes for breakfast.

I am from Christmas Eve appetizers and ham on Christmas Day.

I am from a past that keeps me awake some nights and a loving husband that keeps me in the present and looks forward to our future.

I am from chili with peanut butter and syrup sandwiches in the fall…and winter and spring and summer.

I am from birthday parties in the basement and bonfires in the yard.

I am from a heart so broken, I thought it would never heal and a heart so full of love I sometimes feel like it may explode.

I am from back road cruises and summers that seemed to last forever.

I am from Anna’s All Star Gymnastics, cheerleading, volleyball, track, and just one summer of softball; dance lessons, tennis lessons, and swim lessons.

I am from a red, then pink, then purple, then black childhood bedroom.

I am from a house in the middle of nowhere that I hated, but would now give anything to be there.

I am from Charlie’s love of music and Patty’s laugh and infectious smile; their immeasurable love, integrity, and compassion.

I feel like my life has started over more than once. That makes it difficult to remember my past; recollections are starting to fade. Sometimes I don’t know if my memories are dreams that I’ve had or if my history creates my dreams. But these I keep close to my heart. Of all the people, places, and things that consume my life, they are what make me feel most at home.

Still here...

I’m still here. It’s been awhile, I know this. I am in the middle of writing a couple ditties concerning the craziness that is my life. I’m not quite finished with either of them. I have come to believe that on top of the OCD I am also ADD. I start a project and quickly get bored. Or again, it could just be the time thing. Matt and I have a lot going on lately. House (still remodeling), work (there goes 10 hours of my day), family (Christopher one weekend, St Louis the next); the list goes on and on. Good thing we don’t have kids yet. I am sure nothing would get accomplished. Anyway…sooner than later you will get to read two posts on the same day. That’s my plan anyway. Can you hold back the excitement?!

Watch Out!

I’m 30. And I can’t drive. Or should I say forgotten how to drive properly. It’s my new thing. Here’s the story…

I spent the majority of my sophomore year of high school counting down the days until my 16th birthday would arrive. I carefully marked off the days on my calendar as I anticipated my long awaited freedom. Finally, on Wednesday February 21, 1996 the clouds parted and the heavens opened. My license picture was better than most. I wore my favorite Guess sweatshirt and my smile (just got my braces off a year earlier) was perfect. The driving I did to obtain my new “privilege” was less than perfect, but I passed. And that was all that mattered to me. I was free.

Free to back into the fence in the school parking lot. Free to get the mirror knocked off my mom’s car in front of Dairy Queen. Free to drive all the way from Jordan’s house to mine with the parking brake on. Free to run off the road and flip my car. Free to get a speeding ticket on my 18th birthday. I’m not proud.

Except for one speeding ticket, I have been a meticulous driver since then. I was told by a certain driver’s ed teacher that it was okay to brake with my left foot since I was a lefty. No one else (and by no one else, I mean Matt) seems think it’s safe. So, I have slowly but surely learned how to brake without using my left foot. I had a horrible habit of slowing down without noticing when I would talk while driving and then floor it when I did realize what I was doing. So, I have learned to use cruise to increase gas mileage. It snows like no ones business here and snowdrifts get taller than my car. So I have unwillingly learned how to plow through snow like I am skiing down the Alps. But lately, I’ve forgotten what my dad taught me when I sat on his lap as a child and drove home from grandma and grandpas house. Memories of a certain high school boyfriend yelling at me to speed up, use my turn signal, and make complete stops have faded. I have become a total ditz when it comes to commuting. It’s not my fault though.

During my 14 year driving career I have always driven cars; Sable, 1st Probe, 2nd Probe, Cavalier, and Sentra…all small cars. I drove Matt’s Sierra a couple times here and there with no harm done. Last year, Matt traded his truck for a Chevy Traverse. After a short training session on how to maneuver a larger automobile I became a pro at driving a crossover. This year, Matt (against my wishes) traded in the Traverse for a Yukon. Again, after a short training session, the Yukon became my weekend friend. Last month (thanks to a shorter commute to work) it became my best friend. Although my feet don’t touch the floor and I cannot see over the hood, we’ve had tons of fun together. In 4 weeks we have killed and animal or two or three or four. I cry every time. We have smashed a shopping cart. I couldn’t see it. And this weekend we murdered pumpkins that were supposed to go to Marshall students. Again, I couldn’t see. It’s not that I am losing my sight or not paying attention to the world around me. I’m just too short to be driving something so big. That’s my excuse anyway.

It's my new thing. I am a horrible driver, but I am working on it. Watch out Terre Haute drivers, Ang will be on the road in 11 minutes.

Still No Time...

I'm 30. But this blog has nothing to do with that.

Last Monday I started my new job. Due to the time change (since I work in Indiana now) I just knew that getting home at 4:30 would leave me with so much free time. I just new that I would finally have the opportunity to sit down at the computer (without feeling guilty that Matt has no clean underwear) and to do the thing I love best...write. Regrettably, it hasn't. Somehow that extra time has been spent doing other things around the house that I never had time to do or wasn't too tired to do previously.

Obsessively cleaning the floors and catching up on laundry have become my new hobby. Instead of making a list of things to write about, I find myself making lists of what to clean or organize next. It's a problem. Even at its dirtiest, the house is not even close to being uninhabitable. Although, more times than not I feel ashamed and embarassed that my house is not perfect. Again, it's a problem. Matt will agree.

Alas, I have taken a few moments from my new routine to write this. It is short and sweet,that is for sure. But it is the truth. Now back to the decontamination.

Cleanliness to next to godliness. ~John Wesley

The Things That Make Me Happy...

I’m 30. Over the years I have grown to like, love and at times almost obsess over certain people, places, and things. This by no means is a list comparable to Oprah’s favorite things. They’re just my favorites. Here are a few of them:

Writing, books, Cool Water cologne, swimming, interior design, green grass, Maggie Mae, logic puzzles, Michael Jackson, organizing, summertime, cupcakes, My Matt, blogging, paisley patterns, Lady Antebellum, shopping, museums, the movie Big, the smell of fresh cut grass, Las Vegas, water, all shades of green, iced tea, expensive purses, STL, Fresca, Provel cheese, the ocean, Lilies, spinach dip, sleeping in, Facebook, boating, Happy perfume, my sister, Glee, Johnny Depp, Twilight, peanut butter and apple butter on an English muffin, springtime, Crate and Barrel, crafting, bacon, Katy Perry, my iPod, candles, Chevy Malibu, pears (not to eat, just to look at), weddings, BW3’s, jewelry, the movie Big, Christmas, when Matt wears his glasses, winter, The Band Perry, loosing weight, any shade of blue, hammocks, sunshine, lots of pillows on my bed, cruises, fried zucchini, bean fields, fishing, Miss Aubrey Ann, The Big Bang Theory, old storage trunks, mint chip ice cream, moonlight, people watching, Darius Rucker, fried chicken, birdhouses, staying in hotels, grilling out, the smell of a clean house, The Container Store, puppies, riding my bike, old barns, Two and a Half Men, Tom Hanks, the Cardinals, waterfalls, tropical fish, Target, Chicago, kittens, visiting Mulkeytown/Christopher, Taylor Lautner, How I Met Your Mother, rocking chairs, eBay, Eva Cassidy, peace and quiet, getting my hair cut and colored, pizza, the sound of a fan when I sleep, The Kardashians, Valentine’s Day, carpet instead of hardwood, having my back scratched, milk, Matt when he wears a baseball cap with the bill pulled up a little bit, dogs, Dahlias, Biscotti cookies, fall, bookcases that take up an entire wall, Elvis, fire pits, label makers, Golden Girls, photography, birdcages, breakfast foods for dinner, Sharpies, President Obama, baskets, my Droid X, cheesecake, Cranberry and Malibu, nautical décor, Cuban sandwiches, John Travolta, iced coffee, date nights with Matt, snow, loud music, magazines, flea markets, Hydrangeas, my pillow, John Mayer, sundresses, laughing until I can’t breathe, popcorn, Tiffany Lamps, Harry Potter, lasagna, the gangster Pretty Boy Floyd, watching movies in the theatre, Carmex, making spreadsheets, Barcode scanner app, chocolate (sugar free of course), pumpkins, Marshall’s Fall Festival, lightning bugs, mashed potatoes, garage sales, quilts, seashells, pellet ice, post cards, fingernail polish, Quizno’s, Arts and Crafts houses, cats, Leonardo DiCaprio, watching movies at home, pruning, Violets, using exact change, The Hangover, freshly waxed eyebrows, the smell of Banana Boat tanning oil, porch swings, old keys, birdbaths…finally getting a job oh so much closer to home. Today, this is my absolute favorite thing. This makes me happy.

30 before 40

I’m 30. I've made a list of 30 things I want to accomplish before I am 40. I had a list in my head of things that I wanted to do before I turned the big 3-0. I met only about half of those goals. So, either I was a slacker or just didn’t have the resources to reach them. Now I have no excuse. They have been written (although not in stone) and must be achieved!

1) Build my dream home. My OCD and decorating skills are yearning to be utilized in this way. A whole house from scratch, just the way I want it. Can’t wait!

2) Have lots of babies. Okay, not lots, but at least one. I’m not getting any younger.

3) See the Northern Lights. Who wouldn’t want to do that?

4) Open my own Bookstore/Decorating/Organizing business. See my blog Big Dreams.

5) Swim with dolphins.

6) Visit the 10 most romantic U.S. cities according to Yahoo!. Las Vegas and Miami…check. Honolulu, Charleston, San Francisco, New Orleans, Santa Fe, San Diego, San Antonio, and New York to go.

7) Visit the Louvre.

8) Be a member of the audience of a TV show (SNL, David Letterman, Oprah)

9) Visit Ireland and Italy.

10) Achieve my ideal weight…1xx. Did you actually think I was going to tell you?

11) Have a vacation home in the mountains.

12) Drive along Route 66 in an RV. This one probably won’t happen until we’re retired, but I can hope!

13) Purchase a really, really expensive purse. I’m thinking Coach…the Madison Embossed Exotic. This will happen soon. I’m obsessed.

14) Earn the salary that I know I am worth.

15) Fly first class. This can easily be accomplished with my Air Tran A+ Rewards card. But, I just need the time (and money) to go somewhere.

16) Attend a movie premiere.

17) Invent something. I’ve been trying to think of a way to let Maggie out from the 2nd floor of our house…a doggy elevator type thing.

18) Get my Masters degree.

19) Volunteer. I don’t do it. I need to.

20) Spend New Year’s Eve at Times Square.

21) Ride in a hot air balloon. Even though I am terrified of heights, I am willing to suck it up. I know the view would be amazing.

22) See a Broadway play in New York.

23) Go a year without coloring my hair. Maybe at 39 I’ll do that. I’m curious to whether I will have any gray hair by then.

24) Play Heart and Soul on the piano.

25) See Josh Groban in concert.

26) Own a Chevy Malibu. This may happen sooner than later if I get a job closer to home!

27) Go on another cruise…anywhere but the Bahamas.

28) Delete my facebook account. Another thing that I am obsessed with. Sometimes it seems that I spend more time with it than I do Matt.

29) Learn to sew. My mother in law made curtains for my dining room. I want to be able to do that for the rest of my house.

30) Continue blogging. It’s very therapeutic and so much fun.